Hoda Kotb shares her emotional journey dealing with “impostor syndrome” when she adopted her two children. What transpired?

Hoda Kotb is known for her warmth and wisdom as a longtime anchor on Today, but even she has faced moments of self-doubt when it comes to motherhood. 

The beloved television personality recently shared that after adopting her two daughters, she struggled with the feeling that she might not deserve them.

During a conversation with Suzy Welch at Making Space: A Wellness Weekend, Kotb, 60, reflected on the emotional journey she went through after becoming a mother later in life.

“At one point, after I got to my kids, I said to myself, ‘I wonder if I deserve them.’ Imagine that feeling. That’s so crazy, but I thought it,” Kotb admitted. 

“And I thought, ‘I’ll just work really hard to be really good, because I’m not sure.’”

Coming to Terms with Worthiness as a Mother

For Kotb, the transition into motherhood was deeply personal. 

Her battle with breast cancer in 2007 left her unable to conceive, and she initially thought she had missed her chance to have children. However, after realizing that adoption was a path she could take, she welcomed her first daughter, Haley, in 2017 at the age of 52, followed by her second daughter, Hope, in 2019.

Even with the overwhelming love she felt for her children, the Today anchor said it took time for her to fully embrace the belief that she deserved them.

“I’m here, I deserve to be their mother. I wanted this, and I will care for them for as long as I’m able,” she said.

Her candidness about parental impostor syndrome resonated with many, especially those who have navigated the complexities of becoming a parent later in life.

The Challenges and Rewards of Late Motherhood

Kotb is part of a growing number of women who are becoming parents at an older age. According to a 2023 report, the birth rate for women over 45 increased by 12% from 2021 to 2022, reflecting a societal shift in family planning.

While raising children later in life presents unique challenges, Kotb has spoken about the many rewards that come with it.

In a 2023 interview on the Just B with Bethenny Frankel podcast, she shared that she once believed it was “too late” for her to become a mother. However, after exploring adoption, she realized that her dream was still within reach.

“I don’t know what birth feels like, and I bet it was amazing, but this was really close,” Kotb said, recalling the emotional moment she learned she would become a mother. “I remember that feeling like it was yesterday.”

Other parents who have had children later in life have echoed similar sentiments. Many older mothers initially struggle with concerns about age-related challenges, but ultimately find deep fulfillment in their parenting journey.

A Life-Changing Decision

Kotb has embraced motherhood with open arms, and it has reshaped her priorities. In September 2024, she announced her plans to step down from Today in 2025, explaining that she wanted to dedicate more time to her daughters.

“Obviously, I had my kiddos late in life, and I was thinking that they deserve a bigger piece of my time pie,” she shared.

Her decision reflects a growing trend among working parents who are choosing to step back from demanding careers to focus on family.

Breaking Stereotypes About Parenting Later in Life

While societal norms often emphasize having children at a younger age, many parents have found that waiting until later in life brings unexpected advantages.

Heather Grossman, who became pregnant at 47, previously spoke about her experience of parental impostor syndrome. Initially, she worried about being the oldest mom in social settings, but over time, that anxiety faded.

“Feeling the kicks and head butts of my growing baby reminded me that I was in the middle of something wondrous, sublime,” she said.

Similarly, Blake Turck, who became a first-time mother at 43, found that her life experience made her better prepared for the role.

“I’m definitely wiser now than I was 10 years ago. I’ve navigated loss, love, and adulthood,” she shared. “I’ve nurtured myself, as well as my partner, and during that time, acquired certain instincts and traits that will undoubtedly make me a better mother today than I would’ve been at a younger age.”

Embracing the Journey

Kotb’s reflections on self-worth as a mother serve as a powerful reminder that parenthood is not about age or perfect timing—it’s about love, commitment, and the willingness to embrace the journey.

Her story continues to inspire others who may be questioning whether they, too, deserve the joy of raising children. Through her openness, she has shown that while impostor syndrome is real, the love between a parent and child is what truly defines family.

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